I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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