And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
