I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
