Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Let's paint friendship bongs
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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