If i come over, it means nothing
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
