if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
