i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Randomize
