Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
