dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Randomize
