Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
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