best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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