you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
