She said her name was "party"
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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