I look better un-naked...
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
