i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
