I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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