I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
