Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
When did angry sex become our thing?
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Randomize
