Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
