i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
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