she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
