Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
she pinky promised me she was 18
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
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