Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize