Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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