They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize