You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
