You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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