i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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