I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
