i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
He has the fingertips of a God
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
