How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
It's blow job season.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
