Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
