Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize