some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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