If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
