i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
