There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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