what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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