i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
