We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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