Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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