So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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