But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
wanna go halves on a baby?
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
