We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Randomize
