i don't plan on having that self control this summer
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
