He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
