Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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