There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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