Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
