Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
pray to the hookup gods
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize
