I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
