There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Randomize
