Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Randomize
