what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
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