Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
