I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
