That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
