That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
