Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
