i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize