I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
