Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
