Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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